Emotional abandonment – I see you

Ever had the feeling that you don’t really know who you are, what you want and what you like? Or that you have no idea how to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty? Or that you just feel a general numbness in life and that you don’t belong? It could be that you experienced emotional abandonment as a child.
Emotional abandonment is not abuse and parents mean well in general; they are just not able to cater to the child emotional needs. I say ‘just’because that’s what a lot of us might think when being asked about our childhood. We might have had a good childhood, where our parents loved us, took care of our basic needs and wished for the best for us.
When you have experienced neglect it may be hard sometimes to pinpoint why you’re feeling a general sadness, or why you are experiencing anxiety or depression. Neglect is not always easy to recognize, it is usually left unspoken and unseen and can appear in different forms. Parents who neglect the emotional needs of their children are in general too caught up with their own lives to really see their child for who they are and they instead focuse on how they think their child should be; as an extension of themselves. Or they never had their emotional needs met by their parents and never learned the skills to cater to their own emotional needs, let alone their child’s. These parents don’t know how to set and keep healthy boundaries for the child, give encouragement and understanding or teach life-lessons that a child needs in order to thrive in the world.
Maybe you remember a particular event when you might have been scared or angry and they brushed it off, telling you to not overexaggerate, that it is none of your business. Or you might have blurry memories of sharing your emotions when you felt sad and they told you that it means nothing and that you should just get over it. They might not even have noticed your emotions and feelings because they were so busy with themselves and you felt invisible; not important enough to care about.
Emotional abandonment happens when you cannot connect with the people you care about. When our parents cannot connect to us and cater for our emotional needs, we never learn to connect to ourselves and cater for own needs either and we will repeat this cycle in our adult relationships. So you learned to not trust your own emotions, you started to repress them and you became fiercely independent and stopped asking for help. You might struggle with self-discipline; you’re either too hard on yourself or you have no self-discipline at all and you might struggle with addictions. Just like many of us, I searched for emotional fulfilment by escapism; dating, drinking, travelling, volunteering, shopping, smoking, the list goes on and on. The truth is; you cannot escape from the void you’re are feeling.
The only solution is to go inward and reconnect to our own true essence. You’re emotions are valid; they are messengers for you to realize where you’re life is off balance. When you learn to self-soothe and express your needs you can also reclaim connection to the people you love or set boundaries for toxic relationships.
So what can these messages be? Are you angry or resentful? You might have said yes too many times and doing too much for others. You need to set boundaries and say no.
Are you experiencing fear? There might be an actual physical danger and you need to move away from the situation. You might experience fear of intimacy when you are in push- and pull dance with your partner that you need to become aware of.
Are you feeling ashamed? Someone or something made you feel so bad about yourself? Shame can lead to you spiralling into a deep dark black hole and can cause anxiety. You might have taken on shame from your parents if they used it as a parenting technique. Shame has us feeling not good enough about ourselves and it tells us to reconnect with ourself and reclaim our worth.
Are you experiencing sadness? You might be going through a break-up, lost a loved one or your grieving your past self. You need to slow down, embrace the sadness and allow yourself to experience what you are going through in order to heal.
Becoming aware of how we are feeling and why is really empowering and a starting point to heal ourselves. We also need to investigate the beliefs we hold about ourselves and to see that they might not be true. Sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or a therapist can also be benificial for your healing journey. Your feelings matter! Your needs matter! You matter!

Why I do what I do

 I am passionate about increasing our awareness of our capacity to grow and open up to a deeper level of peace within us. I especially love working with people who have been labelled as ‘shy’ or ‘sensitive’. I strongly feel emotions of myself and others and, in a world where vulnerability has been marked as a weakness, I know how hard it is to show up as ourselves and express ourselves truly without hiding.

We all go through ups and downs in life and especially if we are highly sensitive and/or an empath we may struggle to find a balance in life. The only constant factor in life is change. And I was resisting change, running away from change and being scared of change. One foot was always on the brake. But by resisting change I learned that we stay in toxic situations for too long.

My other foot was always on the gas. I was on the lookout for new adventures and participated in the rat race of more, bigger and better studies/ jobs, relationships and the everlasting accumulation of stuff we do not really need, left me depleted. My downs always followed sooner or later after the infatuation faded. Was this all there is? I got my final wake-up call which prevented me of going into a burnout.  This was the moment I said enough is enough. I learned no matter where you are and who you are with, you always take yourself with it. If you cannot be truly at peace with who you are and love yourself unconditionally, be your own best friend, you cannot find internal peace no matter how hard you search for it in the world.

The only way out of struggle is to go through it, heal it and integrate it. We learn to trust the process and ourselves. We learn that struggle is a part of life, we need it to grow to become who we are truly meant to be. How I know this? Through my experience and my “heartcore” inner work. Yoga, meditation, Reiki and personal life coaching has transformed me into a loving, compassionate person grounded in peace. As one of my favorite Sanskrit prayer says: “Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu”, May all human beings be happy and free and may my words, thoughts and actions in some way contribute to that happiness and to that freedom for all.

You are not broken. You are already whole. I guide you into truthful living and I support you in the constant change we experience in life. Yoga allows us to move with these changes. I practice Vinyasa Yoga because this practices symbolizes life for me. We flow. Yin Yoga recharges me and through this practice I nurture my body, mind, and spirit. Massages, Do I need to say more? I love the deeply harmonizing and calming effects it has on my nervous system. Reiki allows me to connect to the divine, the universe and to universal love. It has a deeply grounding and centring effect on me and increased my self-love.

I share this practice – with all its challenges, findings, feelings and intentions – so that others can discover what it is they truly need and want in life. I allow for people to be honest with themselves so they can clear the debris they have accumulated throughout their life and live a life more in flow.

I can help you gain more awareness of and clarify your personal goals and priorities, better understand your thoughts, feelings and actions and help you see there are different options to change your life to accomplish your goals and feel more fulfilled. The ultimate gain is personal freedom and peace.

I share my programs based on flexibility and personal attention, tuning into what you need. This can result in one on one sessions or in small groups. This can be combined with personal life coaching sessions. We can work together based on an intake conversation in which you tell me what’s not working now. I can make a holistic program based on your needs. I can work with you on your self-relationship, how you interact with others, your career, your spirituality, creating more balance in your life, changing your habits, patterns and motivation.

  1. “Flow & Glow”: 8 week yoga, massage, reiki & coaching program
    2. “Align your Chakra’s”: 7 week yoga & coaching program
  2. Separate Yoga, Massages and Reiki Sessions

 

You are not broken

You might be tired, sad, angry or afraid. You might feel physical and/or emotional pain from past events and all of these emotions and feelings deserve your loving attention. Increasing your awareness about what are the messages behind these emotions and feelings is the first step of feeling better about yourself. What you need is more self-love and compassion by breaking down the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself, other people and how the world works. Your essence-nature, your true self is a magnificent lumninous being that has unique gifts to share with the world.

We all hold these kind of emotions and feelings in our body. We often learn to repress them because it was never safe to be vulnerable. We might never had good examples on how to be with uncomfortable emotions and feelings and so we stuff them down, ignore them and put coping mechanisms in place instead to better deal with the world. These coping mechanisms can be toxic for ourselves and for the people we interact with. Toxic coping mechanisms can range from addictions of any kind, self-sabotaging behaviour, negative self-talk or anything that distracts you from the pain or the emptiness that you are feeling.

In order for you to show up in the world for who you truly are you need to reconnect with the truth. To see through a clear lense what is happening and why it is happening. For it is the truth that will bring freedom and peace to your life. Finding the truth is not an easy process and sometimes we need help, a safe space and some tools to help us on this road of self-transformation and self-empowerment. You have everything you need in you to be able to tap into unconditional love and compassion and you know what you need if you listen to that inner voice. Yoga, meditation, Reiki and massages are the tools that I work with to connect with my essence-nature and these tools have brought me truth, self-transformation and self-love and it is with deep gratitude that I would love to share these practices with you.

Starting soon online on Nowlicious:

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"""Yoga with Jacqueline is much more than just physical exercise. It's nourishment for the soul." -Hanna

"I followed the Chakra Yoga Programme designed by Jacqueline herself. During 7 classes, I was introduced to different physical and mental yoga excercises. I had done Yoga before, but this programme really give me new insights. Jacqueline is a great teacher and in my view her classes have the right balance between challenging your body and focussing and relaxing your mind. She is also a great coach. Together with the excercises I found out a lot about yoga" -Inez

 "I had a wonderfully relaxing massage with Jacqueline. She goes above and beyond to make sure you're comfortable. I felt so great afterwards!

"I wasn't sure what to expect with the reiki. At times a lot was happening- different temperatures, unexpected memories popping up, at times soothing, an altogether pleasant experience that left me feeling lighter and refreshed." - Carolina 

"Jacqueline radiates peace and fun… a rare combination that immediately makes you feel at ease. Whether it's for a yin yoga class or a massage, Jacqueline is there for you and she creates a loving space for you to relax.

Recently I was with her for a massage, even now she managed to put me at ease within minutes. Jacqueline does not give "bland" massages, but firm ones with just the right pressure. She also regularly checks whether it is ok for you. I came in quite tense after a busy, hectic period for me and left the house completely relaxed.

I would advise anyone considering working with Jacqueline to stop doubting and just do it! You will not regret it!"

- Irene 

“A professional and very relaxing massage. Jacqueline allows you to completely relax for an hour. She has a magic touch, a pleasant personality and discusses beforehand what you like her to focus on. A warm recommendation for anyone who, like me, goes through life like a headless chicken and is looking for a moment for yourself.”

- Raphaël

 

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